In the 4th hour

Prepare myself. A week away from making a huge pivot in your life. It sucks to do it alone and also it’s empowering. Once you go through the emotions of it and get to the other side, you will thank yourself for the moment. Don’t give up! It’s not easy setting boundaries and sticking to your code of ethics. I miss Eli but I don’t miss the way I’d feel small around her. I miss who I was becoming. And I want to apologize to myself for becoming stagnant. For all the times I gave in to self soothing moments instead what I needed, now is the time to lean into intentional healing. It’s just you, and you have already known this even when you have tried to connect. You smoke more so you think less and that’s good for now but it won’t be for what’s to come. Okay they could say no, then what, you can’t do what Tafari did. If they say yes then what, you can’t do what Kisha always does. What would it look like if you were successful? How can you help the collective if you haven’t helped yourself? Heal yourself first! Heal your heart, your mind, your body. No more wasted conversations and watering dead plants. You know now. You have sen everything you needed to see with your own two eyes. The time shift is real, you made it happen. In your own lane, don’t get stuck in old ways. Almost there. Please be careful not to get your hopes up. There’s no plan B or C. It’s just this plan so don’t give up. You have got this

Rickisha Joyce O’Neal.